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Remember that many smaller activities, organised over the internet for small numbers of people, seem to fail. It is not uncommon to see someone post a message on a Yahoo or MSN group, get a number of positive responses, and then have only one other person turn up.
Think about the kind of event/activity you'd like to run. Go to several events to see what works and what doesn't. Bear in mind that events can take on a life of their own and (depending on your guests and how assertive you are) your control may be limited once started.
Guests
The selection of your guests is critical, especially for your first effort. Having one very confident, experienced person/couple/group to break the ice can be invaluable. The more experienced people the better; imagine a swingers party with only shy newbies. A mixed-gender event may need to be evenly balanced between males and females. You can find guests through existing events and communities, through friends and friends of friends, and through personals ads (obviously take care there, though).
Privacy and security
The Supreme Court judge that sucked me off at the last gangbang party seemed quite concerned about this... I'm not sure why. Seriously, though, some people will be quite concerned about their activities becoming public knowledge. Obviously, you need to be sensitive to this even if you don't share their concerns. A strictly-enforced ban on cameras and mobile phones (which almost always have built-in cameras) is an obvious place to start.
Before the party, let your neighbours know you'll be having a party for friends and that if there's too much noise they can contact you directly, instead of the police. Give them your mobile number to facilitate this.
Safe sex supplies
You must provide safe-sex supplies; I think it is both common sense, and a moral and ethical obligation. Condoms, lubricant, and tissues are the minimum, and latex/rubber gloves and baby wipes can also be really helpful. For goodness sake make sure you've got enough condoms! No- one wants to run out!
Safety
If it is a BDSM party, it may be helpful to have one universal safe word which is clearly understood by everyone.
Rules and etiquette
Keep your list of rules to no more than five so they're easily remembered, and state them clearly and positively to each guest as they arrive. The rules might be something like:
1. Absolutely no drugs
2. The chill-out area is over there- there is to be no sex in the chill-out zone
3. Wait to be invited, and no means no
4. Safe sex only
5. Keep the noise down to a dull roar
Consider whether male-male sex is appropriate. If it's not, then you're a hypocrite and you should (1) ask yourself why female-female sex is OK but male-male sex isn't [because I'll bet you don't have any problem with a bit of all-girl action, do you?] and (2) ask yourself, if you're not cool with male-male sex, what the hell you're doing looking at a tgirl web site; I'm a guy who gets off dressing as a woman, you idiot! You shouldn't be here, you filthy little worm, so fuck off! Now, the rest of us may continue.
The location
For a small party your place may be appropriate. However, for various reasons (privacy, security, neighbours, noise) you may not wish to have such an event at your place. Remember that if you decide to hire a venue that may involve considerable costs, which need to be passed on to attendees through an admission charge. Somewhere with a spa or hot tub may be good.
Setting up
A chill-out area where no play takes place should be clearly defined. Decide on a place for discarded clothing if you require people to wear erotic dress. Candles can help set the mood. If you have candles or a fireplace, ensure you have fire extinguishers. Also have a first aid kit. Temperature should be set to be comfortable without clothing, but not too hot. Take the house landline phone off the hook or mute the ringer. Keep a mobile handy. Put on some soft sexy music. Ensure that mattresses and cushions are available, and that waste-paper baskets with liners are distributed about the place. Cover furniture which people might want to play on. Leave the TV off (unless you want to put some porn on to give people the idea, I suppose). Put out drinks (but be aware of your State's liquor-licencing laws, especially where you are charging for entry) and snacks. I prefer to avoid snacks such as chips which could cause cuts to the mouth and increase the risk of STI infection.
Running sheet
Consider having a window for arrival: doors open at 8.30; doors close at 9.30 with no entry permitted thereafter (except by prior arrangement, perhaps). It may not be necessary, but some sources recommend having an icebreaker such as everyone introducing themselves and saying what they hope to get out of the evening, or get everyone to tell a joke. Whatever, at some point in the evening someone will have to start getting a little frisky. It may be helpful have an existing couple start getting frisky with each other to give people the idea.
Group dynamics
Remember that group sex is a gathering of people. As host, your people skills are absolutely critical. Be aware when one person is feeling left out; even if most people are lost in sexual ecstacy, there may well be one or two people who aren't.
Emotional aspects of group sex
This site deals with the nuts and bolts of alternative sexual activities. It only briefly deals with emotional aspects. People considering engaging in partner-swapping activities should consider carefully the emotional consequences of seeing their partner having sex with a stranger.
See also:
More information:
Enjoying and hosting erotic events