This page was inspired by a book titled 'The Ethical Slut', a work on how to explore sexual possibilities responsibly and ethically. This may seem like a contradiction in terms, but it is most certainly not. The thoughts below are my own, and are not from the book; however, I highly recommend it to all students of sluthood.

Some people in the community, religious leaders, and conservative politicians consider my lifestyle to be immoral. Personally, I consider being a complete tart to be far less immoral than (say) locking up children in mandatory detention, encouraging an Australian citizen to be imprisoned without trial overseas, or discouraging condom use in countries with high rates of HIV. So, I don't really feel any great need to pay much heed to the words of our religious or political leaders until they've got their own houses in order... here endeth the editorial. So, how can one be responsibly promiscuous?

Safe sex
The most immediate aspect of responsible promiscuity is safe sex. Firstly, know your own HIV status. That means you need to have an HIV test; "Ummm, I've never had a test but I always ask my partners and they say they're negative, so I must be too" is not the same thing as "I am HIV-negative¹- the test said so". Quite apart from other considerations, you can't seek treatment for something you don't know you have.
¹ As I understand it, HIV tests have a three-month lag time; a test returned today refers to your status three months ago.
Don't just practice safe sex, but encourage others to do the same. Rug up for Winter is a grass-roots safe-sex campaign that anyone can get involved with. Without telling other people what to do, I think it is important to speak out against unsafe sex practices when you see them occurring. Accidents such as condom breakages do occur; if this happens, be honest with your partner about what has happened so they can consider taking remedial steps to prevent HIV infection immediately.

Bisexuality
I believe that it is very difficult for many bisexual people to be completely monogamous, and indeed possibly not even sensible to try. Regardless of whether bisexuality (and indeed homosexuality) is genetic or environmental, either way it is a deep-seated need for some. Attempting to deny that aspect of your personality is simply asking for trouble later down the track. However, given that there is a very strong social preference for heterosexuality, this can lead to problems of its own. Therefore, I think it is important for bisexual and pansexual people to be open and honest with potential life partners (ie: people you might fall in love with, as opposed to casual sexual partners) about your sexual preferences right from the start. If you're strongly bisexual, it is likely that you can't keep a promise of fidelity anyway, so you should consider beginning your relationships from a different set of starting assumptions, ie: that it will not be a monogamous relationship. Obviously, this is more easily said than done.

Relationships
If you are going to be promiscuous (for reasons of bisexuality or rampantly indiscriminate heterosexual desire, which can be an equally valid reason) and you are in a relationship, you should carefully consider telling your partner. Note that I do not say that you should actually tell your partner. However, thinking about whether or not to tell your partner may help to clarify some issues in your own mind. If you decide not to tell him/her, then you at least have made a conscious decision, rather than simply being left in a default position because that's how things have always been.

If you decide to tell him/her, expect fireworks. My former partner screamed at me and then cried for an hour when I told her I was bisexual (I took her subsequent dalliances with another woman rather more quietly). Obviously, telling them is fraught with risk- there is a very real chance your partner will leave you. If you're in a two-week-old relationship you weren't 100% sure about anyway, then their reaction may indicate something to you. If you are happily married with 2.3 children and a home loan, then obviously the stakes are much higher and you'll need to consider things very carefully indeed. Depending on where you live, there could be legal implications from this, as some countries have regressive laws and regulations relating to promiscuity and same- sex relationships, especially where custody of children is involved. In some situations, not telling may in fact be the more responsible course of action; in others, it may be unethical not to tell. It's not my place to tell you what the ethical or responsible thing to do in your situation is; however, I do think there's an ethical requirement for you to at least think about telling, even if you decide not to.

In my experience, the question of whether or not your prospective casual sex partner is in a relationship does not often come up; clearly, this is not a subject most people feel comfortable raising in erotically-charged situations. I have never heard someone cruising a beat say, "So, just before we fuck... are you married?". If you know that the person you're about to have sex with is in a relationship, you should consider the implications of that for them. You may decide that you are uncomfortable engaging sexually with people who you know have partners, or you may decide that you are OK with it. My personal policy is 'don't ask'; I do not engage in casual sex with people who I know are attached and whose partner is unaware of their activities, but I do not actively seek this information either. This is a compromise between it being somewhat unethical to play with someone whose partner doesn't know about their activities, but it also generally being impractical to ask.

Respect for others
Treat others as you'd wish to be treated. If you are not going to show for a pre-arranged meeting, ring and say so. It is You shouldn't